i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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