my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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