I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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