he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
