At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
