that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
