I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize