fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
