He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
