I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
