We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
