My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
