the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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