You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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