Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
