I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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