i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
