Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize