you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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