ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
