Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
