There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Barsexuality is the new black.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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