Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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