Someone shit on the floor
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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