I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
