are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
