Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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