1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize