it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
