He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
