i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
