hotel room ftw
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
