READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
