Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
