I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
