Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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