If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
