can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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