just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
