omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
