how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
