I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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