We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
