Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
