Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
