Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
