Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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