No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
