I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
