I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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