That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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