just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
