just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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