ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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