Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't shave. On purpose
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
