Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
