i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
