she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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