I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
