In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
