Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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