Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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