Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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