Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
