is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
