We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize