Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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