Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
